Embrace Your Best Self: Journey into Your Strengths with Personal Coaching An invitation to ponder
Who are you? I mean, how are you supposed to do things?
What is your way of living that is needed by the rest of us?
Often in the personal development space we tend to focus on the parts of ourselves that we (or society) see as “flawed” or underdeveloped. We’re told to go out there and “just do it.” We’re told to work hard and sacrifice our joy to get ahead. We’re told our soft skills aren’t as important as having the killer instinct. We’re told to be bold and to roll over others to get to the top.
What if we don’t connect to any of that?
Thankfully there are other viewpoints to personal development. There are perspectives that focus on our strengths instead of attempting to fix our flaws. Hi, I’m Mary Pat and I’m a personal coach. There are three assessment tools that I use in my personal coaching that do just that - they show us our natural tendencies and assist us in living them for success.
As you’ve read in previous blogs I love Kolbe and Human Design. The Gallup CliftonStengths is the third tool I enjoy using. The Kolbe A assessment and the CliftonStrengths assessment are questionnaires that, once complete, provide a summary of your gifts and suggestions on how to use the information moving forward. Human Design is based on your birth date, location and time of birth to provide a blueprint of who you are and how your gifts can be used to support you and the world at large.
What I enjoy about using all of these are the connections I can make between them.
For instance, my Kolbe results show that I like to create and use systems, while my Human Design shows me I am here to share new ideas, and my CliftonStrengths shows I like to “focus on strengths as a way to stimulate personal and group excellence.” It is like slapping me in my face that sharing this IS exactly what I am here to do.
Why is it important to know who you are?
It is overall better for your health. If we are being who we are and not trying to become someone we aren’t, then our stress level is lower. I am not a person who thrives on competition and achievement, so forcing myself to work in an environment like that would be highly stressful and would negatively impact my well - being. If you are someone who needs the energy of achievement and competition and you find yourself in an environment with lots of folks who “feel” but don’t “act” you’ll become equally frustrated as I would in the previous scenario.
We need to know who we are so we can stand up for ourselves and what we want. When we know who we are we can set boundaries that support us. When we know ourselves we might become curious about who others are and maybe stop attempting to force others to be who we want them to be.
I’ve learned the Human Design of my family members and it has made an impact on how we interact.
Knowing their Human Design results helped me see with more clarity that one child definitely needs a solid friend group while my other child needs more alone time. Knowing their Human Design makes it easier to love them because I understand them on a different level. (Again this shows my love of systems( Kolbe) and brings clarity to my empathic strength (CliftonStrengths) which also shows up in my Human Design.)
When I KNOW how someone is thinking or how they are designed to be and do things, it is easier to accept them and support them. When I do not have an understanding of why folks do what they do, I am frustrated and judgemental. Once I know the reasons behind the actions I observe, my resistance to their behavior is lessened and I am able to move forward with compassion.
With the results from the Kolbe assessment I know that when my client has a higher Quick Start rating than I do, I’ll encourage them to jump right into what is lighting them up. If a client has a high Fact Finder score I’ll remind them to get the facts they need to feel secure in making a decision. And this same Kolbe result might show up on CliftonStrengths as a Strategic Thinking Learner strength. When I see a client’s Human Design results I may suggest that they take a nap in the middle of the day to be their best. Or I might remind them to take a day or two to consider big decisions. And I’ll remind other clients to look at their top 5 list from CliftonStrengths to assess if they are using those skills or if they’ve been working from their bottom strengths.
Learning about and using assessments like these highlights our strengths so they can be used well.
We aren’t the same. We all know that, but these tools show us how to use our natural tendencies and abilities to make positive change in our personal life as well as our workplace and community.
Sometimes I wish we all came with the results of our assessments on a card that we can share. That way we can easily see the gifts we all bring to the table of life. For those of you that are interested, my results are shown in photos.
You can take these assessments on your own and delve into them but if you’d like my personal touch as you explore your uniqueness, I have an option for you: the Lean On Your Strengths mini program. You’ll take the assessments and we’ll go over your results together and you’ll receive support to implement the findings with confidence. Follow the link or reply to this email to make your appointment.
( Now, I do know we may have things we need to work on that are deeper and therapy is an excellent way to explore and heal. This blog is not about that, but a greater understanding of how and why we do a lot of what we do. Please do seek professional mental health assistance as needed.)
